Relax – Top funny source code comments

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood that I was doing
//Now, God only knows

/*
* OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do.
* I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that
* the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid
* fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using
* indices and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator
* implementation. So there.
*/
$firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren();
foreach ($firstList as $node)
{
$nodes = $node->getChildren();
break; // wtf?
}

// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

//hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/

//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//

// TODO: Fix this. Fix what?

 

// no comments for you
// it was hard to write
// so it should be hard to read

 

// I will give you two of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this.

 

options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

 

// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.

 

//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

 

double penetration; // ouch

 

# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file.

At the bottom file:

# To understand recursion, see the top of this file.

 

//I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem.

 

//somedev1 - 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Logic screen
//somedev2 - 5/22/07 Temporary my ass

 

/*
 * You may think you know what the following code does.
 * But you dont. Trust me
 * Fiddle with me, and youll spend many a sleppless
 * night cursing the moment you thought you be clever
 * enough to "optimize" the code below.
 * Now close this file and go play with something else.

 

// drunk, fix later

 

// Magic. Do not touch.

 

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public

 

Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up; //ha ha

http://cobaia.net/2010/09/top-funny-source-code-comments/

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